Yesterday we attended the wedding of our Tico friends. We approached the event with ample curiosity, given that we have never attended a wedding in a foreign county. We had read a little about Costa Rican wedding traditions, but you never know which elements a modern couple might choose to incorporate, alter or omit completely.
If there was one thing remarkable about the wedding it would be what appeared to be a total lack of stress. For sure, the wedding itself was structured very much like weddings in the US, but at the same time it was quite different. It was far from a Hollywood production, as hubby described most weddings in the States – and devoid of worries over inconsequential details.
The bride wore a beautifully embroidered, strapless white dress. Her long dark hair was artfully arranged in curls on the back of her head with a short veil attached below. The maid of honor wore a purple, ruffled “spaghetti strap” dress. There was a flower girl and another little girl who carried the rings (ages probably 8 & 10). White calla lilly sprays dotted with 3 large orange blossoms were placed in the usual locations. But the event was more casual than weddings usually are in the US. No ushers. No "bride's side" and "groom's side." Everybody just came in and sat where they wanted to sit. No programs. No pew ribbons. No reserved seating, although people seemed to understand that the parents would sit in the first couple of pews. Both sets of parents, by the way, sat on the same side of the church. None of this his and hers stuff anywhere to be seen!
The groom walked down the aisle with his parents. His bride walked down the aisle with her parents. No "Here Comes the Bride" ... just regular mass music, with a bit of a Latin beat. A bench and two side chairs were positioned at the front of the church - all covered in white slipcovers for the bridal couple, the maid of honor and the best man sit on during the mass. The happy couple chatted periodically during the mass, and at one point her maid of honor stood up and adjusted the bride's veil so that it dropped behind the back of the bench. Very casual... and very comfortable. Babies cried and nobody got hysterical about it (although the parents were probably a bit stressed). The 2 or 3 year-old son of the maid of honor broke free at one point and ran to the front of the church to be near Mom and threw a nasty temper tantrum when they removed him, but everybody seemed to take it in stride.
The priest invited the photographer to come forward for shots of important moments. Speaking of the priest, we couldn't understand much of what he said, but one of the groom’s English-speaking friends who sat next to me explained that he was giving them down to earth advise in the form of a parable about building a house. He spoke with humor and grand animation. It was fun to listen to and watch, even without a word by word interpretation. Never before was I more aware of how beautiful the Spanish language is.
After their vows and exchange of rings, the priest blessing 13 Costa Rican coins that the groom presented to the bride as a symbol of their commitment to share their worldly belongings with each other and those less fortunately than themselves.
When the ceremony was over they did not exit the church to Mendelssohn, the way American couples do only to reassemble a few minutes later for pictures, leaving the guest to mill about awkwardly awaiting the next stage of the event. Nope. The bridal couple stayed at the front of the church as they were swallowed up by hugs and congratulations from family and friends, which turned into a prolonged photo shoot. After the usual pictures of bridal couple, their parents, attendants, etc., in turn each person in attendance was invited to the front of the church for pictures with the bride and groom! It was absolutely fabulous!
Finally, more than an hour after the ceremony was over people started to leave. Since the groom’s parents had hosted a pre-wedding fiesta last week, there was no wedding day reception. No cake cutting with the requisite face smear (which I personally detest!). No first dance -- (they took the floor for their ever so romantic solo dance at the fiesta). No toss of the bouquet. Yet it seemed all perfectly normal and complete.
And how blessed we feel to have been invited to be part of it.
Pura Vida
